








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,731 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2281 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1494 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 645 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1311 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $428,759 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 177 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noice | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | K1'tek | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | Bolar | 58% | 103 |
| #4 | Sully | 57% | 82 |
| #5 | Patsy | 55% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Sully | 57% | 82 |
| #5 | Patsy | 55% | 83 |
| #6 | Aika❤ | 52% | 25 |
| #7 | JEXE | 52% | 145 |
| #8 | Crog | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bolar | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Patsy | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | JEXE | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Sully | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | K1'tek | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JEXE | 641 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #2 | Bolar | 259 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | Sully | 198 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Patsy | 174 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | K1'tek | 40 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noice | +3.77 | 60 | 54 |
| #2 | Bolar | +1.69 | 52 | 65 |
| #3 | Sully | +1.45 | 77 | 54 |
| #4 | Crog | +0.90 | 89 | 65 |
| #5 | K1'tek | +0.60 | 63 | 32 |





