








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2061 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,011 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1448 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1395 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1796 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1372 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $389,805 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Viggymaster | 56% | 41 |
| #8 | hrry | 55% | 71 |
| #9 | James | 51% | 41 |
| #10 | K1'tek | 50% | 10 |
| #11 | whelmed | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hrry | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | whelmed | 6 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | James | 6 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | Snipestorm | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Bolar | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JEXE | 147 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | Bolar | 110 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | whelmed | 100 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Snipestorm | 82 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | hrry | 69 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noice | +5.03 | 67 | 64 |
| #2 | hrry | +0.73 | 80 | 51 |
| #3 | Bolar | +0.50 | 64 | 65 |
| #4 | James | -0.26 | 69 | 37 |
| #5 | Snipestorm | -0.58 | 71 | 56 |





