








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 364 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4756 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,301 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3093 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4266 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3212 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3730 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,224,379 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phil | 56% | 57 |
| #2 | Jessica ♥ Rose° 장미 | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | perry the platypus | 54% | 68 |
| #4 | ☪️ʚ♛SUPUKI💤美惜ニローニɞ💜 | 54% | 217 |
| #5 | bNastyy | 54% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | dashNTP [diamondhands] | 53% | 197 |
| #9 | SUPUKI_GRND | 52% | 23 |
| #10 | pretty boopie | 52% | 73 |
| #11 | Airexial | 50% | 270 |
| #12 | EdgΞ 🐼 | 48% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Airexial | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | ☪️ʚ♛SUPUKI💤美惜ニローニɞ💜 | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Meepins64 | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | dashNTP [diamondhands] | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | pretty boopie | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Airexial | 807 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #2 | bNastyy | 583 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | ☪️ʚ♛SUPUKI💤美惜ニローニɞ💜 | 567 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #4 | dashNTP [diamondhands] | 486 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #5 | Meepins64 | 381 | 0.05 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spookie_GRND | +2.56 | 80 | 61 |
| #2 | ☪️ʚ♛SUPUKI💤美惜ニローニɞ💜 | +2.39 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | SUPUKI_GRND | +2.30 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | Meepins64 | +1.54 | 83 | 42 |
| #5 | Mr.Phantastic | +0.52 | 69 | 65 |





