








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 572 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 280 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2260 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3484 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2332 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2072 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1777 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $814,454 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | osama rizzladen | 83% | 30 |
| #2 | Tea Pot Man | 75% | 20 |
| #3 | crack rock roy | 75% | 32 |
| #4 | ΤΌΓΈΟΠ’ doggoλ | 75% | 52 |
| #5 | AsianAssist | 74% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | ππΆπ | 63% | 80 |
| #12 | emblem | 62% | 109 |
| #13 | Flash | 62% | 146 |
| #14 | mac | 58% | 93 |
| #15 | Pandaβ’ | 56% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larry5k | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Flash | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | emblem | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | mac | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Kado | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larry5k | 358 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | mac | 181 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | Flash | 125 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | AsianAssist | 119 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Catlin | 79 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | osama rizzladen | +3.95 | 79 | 79 |
| #2 | Tea Pot Man | +2.16 | 79 | 80 |
| #3 | omoo | +1.80 | 87 | 57 |
| #4 | emblem | +1.55 | 86 | 68 |
| #5 | onter | +1.39 | 87 | 78 |





