








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1102 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,468 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1014 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1049 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 569 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 836 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $482,943 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JRatio | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | crack rock roy | 82% | 11 |
| #3 | AsianAssist | 80% | 10 |
| #4 | ΤΌΓΈΟΠ’ doggoλ | 75% | 8 |
| #5 | osama rizzladen | 75% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | omoo | 63% | 80 |
| #10 | Kado | 60% | 42 |
| #11 | emblem | 59% | 22 |
| #12 | Flash | 58% | 69 |
| #13 | cya | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kado | 7 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | cya | 6 | 0.0203 |
| #3 | Larry5k | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | mac | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | omoo | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | omoo | 290 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | Larry5k | 285 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #3 | Flash | 272 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | mac | 190 | 0.33 | 6 min |
| #5 | Kado | 154 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ΤΌΓΈΟΠ’ doggoλ | +2.20 | 65 | 69 |
| #2 | omoo | +1.90 | 87 | 54 |
| #3 | mac | +1.78 | 81 | 73 |
| #4 | Larry5k | +1.59 | 80 | 75 |
| #5 | osama rizzladen | +1.54 | 90 | 77 |





