










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 118 matches | ||
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3875 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,906 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2582 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2904 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2626 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2794 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,071,277 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 184 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wwwwwwwwww | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | kor går kulan mine? | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | moen | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Kjell.T.Ring | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Badekaret | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kor går kulan mine? | 916 | 0.17 | 27 min |
| #2 | Kjell.T.Ring | 403 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #3 | wwwwwwwwww | 328 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | moen | 311 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | Badekaret | 284 | 0.13 | 8 min |





