








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 613 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 256 matches | ||
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Esplay | 9 matches | 2,217 | |
| Renown | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5135 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,235 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5009 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6275 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4655 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4296 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,337,658 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Jådd | 54% | 70 |
| #9 | JoRex | 54% | 115 |
| #10 | Badekaret | 50% | 40 |
| #11 | wayLander | 46% | 41 |
| #12 | ... | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoRex | 238 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | kor går kulan mine? | 214 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | gøppi | 180 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | moen | 180 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | wwwwwwwwww | 112 | 0.10 | 2 min |





