








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1035 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 425 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Renown | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Esplay | 12 matches | 1,773 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 143 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5151 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,922 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7921 | 22% |
| Smokes | 8219 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 11590 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 8192 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,854,652 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 589 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P4iN | 65% | 43 |
| #2 | Nasty | 55% | 40 |
| #3 | Tisa xDxP | 54% | 70 |
| #4 | Bausef | 52% | 66 |
| #5 | kURT | 51% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | devogen ☂ | 48% | 75 |
| #11 | ✪ Exile | 47% | 59 |
| #12 | Sturezerameister2k | 46% | 68 |
| #13 | Mickey | 45% | 76 |
| #14 | Ack3 | 43% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KaffeRast | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | foqie ツ | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Fryfry | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Ack3 | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | kURT | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KaffeRast | 892 | 0.18 | 26 min |
| #2 | foqie ツ | 334 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | Fryfry | 324 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | Sturezerameister2k | 289 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #5 | Ack3 | 197 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Exile | +3.22 | 88 | 67 |
| #2 | P4iN | +3.06 | 62 | 76 |
| #3 | Tisa xDxP | +2.05 | 67 | 80 |
| #4 | KaffeRast | +1.58 | 77 | 73 |
| #5 | kURT | +1.47 | 68 | 62 |





