








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
572 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,604 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 367 | 23% |
| Smokes | 383 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 450 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 404 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $311,196 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faabio | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | bruno börsta | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | hebduL | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | zudinov | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | lareboi | 53% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | FFA | 52% | 42 |
| #7 | babekki | 50% | 4 |
| #8 | kona | 48% | 27 |
| #9 | -Levelubs- | 47% | 32 |
| #10 | Noname | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hebduL | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | FFA | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Noname | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | babekki | 1 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hebduL | 159 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #2 | lareboi | 128 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | -Levelubs- | 93 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | FFA | 89 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Noname | 61 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faabio | +5.35 | 66 | 63 |
| #2 | hebduL | +1.35 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | FFA | +1.34 | 79 | 62 |
| #4 | babekki | +0.87 | 86 | 51 |
| #5 | lareboi | +0.47 | 52 | 76 |





