








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 389 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Faceit | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2514 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,649 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3002 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2280 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1930 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1437 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $791,658 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 597 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Puodiss | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | JoniMaisema | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | Faabio | 61% | 36 |
| #4 | CL0UT C0BAIN cs.money | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | -Levelubs- | 60% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | babekki | 53% | 32 |
| #13 | TofiB [Chillaa baskaks] | 53% | 19 |
| #14 | ykäriyrjö | 53% | 38 |
| #15 | Sväne | 50% | 42 |
| #16 | -Mel Gibson- | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | babekki | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | stulth | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | FFA | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | -Mel Gibson- | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | lareboi | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tzone | 347 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | Sväne | 186 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | -Levelubs- | 174 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | lareboi | 169 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Faabio | 123 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gubbe | +3.12 | 81 | 60 |
| #2 | Puodiss | +1.95 | 71 | 60 |
| #3 | FFA | +1.47 | 83 | 57 |
| #4 | hebduL | +1.02 | 76 | 64 |
| #5 | TofiB [Chillaa baskaks] | +1.01 | 61 | 71 |





