








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 276 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
885 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,740 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 752 | 20% |
| Smokes | 961 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1049 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 978 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $362,435 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zudinov | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Faabio | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | lareboi | 57% | 74 |
| #4 | FFA | 56% | 63 |
| #5 | -Levelubs- | 55% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ykäriyrjö | 51% | 35 |
| #8 | Puodiss | 50% | 6 |
| #9 | CL0UT C0BAIN cs.money | 48% | 27 |
| #10 | bruno börsta | 46% | 13 |
| #11 | babekki | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FFA | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | ykäriyrjö | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | hebduL | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | babekki | 2 | 0.0192 |
| #5 | Faabio | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lareboi | 172 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | -Levelubs- | 163 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | FFA | 152 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | hebduL | 127 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | ykäriyrjö | 107 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hebduL | +1.97 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | FFA | +1.63 | 82 | 65 |
| #3 | Faabio | +1.42 | 75 | 70 |
| #4 | Puodiss | +1.29 | 65 | 70 |
| #5 | bruno börsta | +0.75 | 66 | 77 |





