








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 832 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1209 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,546 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 879 | 35% |
| Smokes | 392 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 843 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 432 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $615,282 of utility $231 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 261 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fpang | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | salmonTF | 60% | 42 |
| #3 | SwaTSecK | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | Tomato | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | Lymes | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | SwaTSecK | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | Tomato | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | Lymes | 45% | 56 |
| #6 | Dave | 40% | 10 |
| #7 | Chzaron | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomato | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Lymes | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | salmonTF | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | SwaTSecK | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Chzaron | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SwaTSecK | 126 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | salmonTF | 100 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Tomato | 32 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dave | 23 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Chzaron | 11 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kmatt☁ | +3.97 | 85 | 50 |
| #2 | SwaTSecK | +1.78 | 66 | 82 |
| #3 | salmonTF | -0.59 | 51 | 52 |
| #4 | Dave | -1.19 | 42 | 60 |
| #5 | Tomato | -1.25 | 62 | 50 |





