








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
900 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 150 | 22% |
| Smokes | 276 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 214 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 56 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $654,329 of utility $273 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | salmonTF | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | Chzaron | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | Tomato | 46% | 48 |
| #4 | taco | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | The Big Goose | 45% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Big Goose | 229 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | kmatt☁ | 80 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | salmonTF | 73 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Tomato | 72 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | SwaTSecK | 65 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kmatt☁ | +4.12 | 88 | 39 |
| #2 | The Big Goose | +3.85 | 81 | 65 |
| #3 | taco | +1.05 | 89 | 54 |
| #4 | SwaTSecK | +1.01 | 63 | 79 |
| #5 | salmonTF | -0.41 | 47 | 49 |





