








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 504 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1734 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,310 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1243 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1627 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1878 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1562 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,023,582 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kmatt☁ | 60% | 42 |
| #2 | Lymes | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | fpang | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | taco | 47% | 47 |
| #5 | The Big Goose | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | SwaTSecK | 42% | 212 |
| #8 | Chzaron | 41% | 103 |
| #9 | ✯ Blight | 36% | 25 |
| #10 | Dave | 35% | 66 |
| #11 | Melon be Smellin | 32% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SwaTSecK | 18 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Tomato | 11 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | taco | 7 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | fpang | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Melon be Smellin | 4 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SwaTSecK | 638 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #2 | Melon be Smellin | 186 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | Chzaron | 144 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Dave | 127 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Tomato | 114 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kmatt☁ | +2.98 | 86 | 56 |
| #2 | taco | +2.52 | 82 | 58 |
| #3 | SwaTSecK | +1.91 | 70 | 76 |
| #4 | The Big Goose | +0.31 | 81 | 62 |
| #5 | salmonTF | -0.84 | 49 | 53 |





