








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 376 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
722 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 689 | 32% |
| Smokes | 325 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 765 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 358 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $565,439 of utility $310 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kmatt☁ | 40% | 10 |
| #2 | salmonTF | 35% | 66 |
| #3 | taco | 33% | 18 |
| #4 | Tomato | 33% | 54 |
| #5 | SwaTSecK | 32% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Tomato | 33% | 54 |
| #5 | SwaTSecK | 32% | 73 |
| #6 | Chzaron | 28% | 39 |
| #7 | Melon be Smellin | 28% | 29 |
| #8 | The Big Goose | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | salmonTF | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | SwaTSecK | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Tomato | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | taco | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SwaTSecK | 245 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | salmonTF | 140 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Melon be Smellin | 101 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Tomato | 63 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Chzaron | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kmatt☁ | +3.07 | 77 | 60 |
| #2 | taco | +1.62 | 84 | 62 |
| #3 | SwaTSecK | +1.46 | 71 | 77 |
| #4 | The Big Goose | +1.15 | 78 | 57 |
| #5 | Tomato | -0.97 | 65 | 45 |





