








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
597 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 197 | 16% |
| Smokes | 44 | 4% |
| HE Grenades | 684 | 55% |
| Molotovs | 309 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $177,520 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kmatt☁ | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | salmonTF | 51% | 51 |
| #3 | NOZZYᵘʷᵘ | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | SwaTSecK | 47% | 53 |
| #5 | Tomato | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SwaTSecK | 6 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | salmonTF | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | ✯ Blight | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | taco | 2 | 0.0139 |
| #5 | Chzaron | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SwaTSecK | 151 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | salmonTF | 88 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | ✯ Blight | 75 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Chzaron | 34 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | kmatt☁ | 24 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kmatt☁ | +3.42 | 91 | 46 |
| #2 | taco | +2.48 | 80 | 44 |
| #3 | SwaTSecK | +2.18 | 72 | 73 |
| #4 | Chzaron | +0.55 | 57 | 53 |
| #5 | salmonTF | +0.05 | 51 | 41 |





