








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 651 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,506 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2592 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2025 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2277 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2612 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $888,529 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fRESh | 79% | 29 |
| #2 | Ayashiro | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | Lorkin | 61% | 125 |
| #4 | H̲l̲y̲ | 59% | 17 |
| #5 | xeoN | 59% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Joey Shmeeler | 54% | 83 |
| #11 | Mayson12381 | 53% | 17 |
| #12 | yes | 53% | 19 |
| #13 | Chronic | 52% | 21 |
| #14 | DONNIE DARKO | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bicus Dicus De Bicus De Dicus | 23 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | Joey Shmeeler | 12 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Lorkin | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | yes | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | Ayashiro | 2 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bicus Dicus De Bicus De Dicus | 416 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | Lorkin | 299 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | right | 157 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #4 | fRESh | 146 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #5 | xeoN | 128 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fRESh | +5.39 | 79 | 81 |
| #2 | JSmile ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +2.58 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | Mayson12381 | +2.29 | 93 | 66 |
| #4 | H̲l̲y̲ | +1.85 | 77 | 68 |
| #5 | DONNIE DARKO | +1.47 | 84 | 67 |





