








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1078 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




94 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6405 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,627 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2220 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3338 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3683 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4386 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,065,966 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lorkin | 57% | 383 |
| #2 | Bicus Dicus De Bicus De Dicus | 56% | 502 |
| #3 | JSmile ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 54% | 83 |
| #4 | Ayashiro | 54% | 69 |
| #5 | RyanStecken61 | 47% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Bicus Dicus De Bicus De Dicus | 56% | 502 |
| #3 | JSmile ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 54% | 83 |
| #4 | Ayashiro | 54% | 69 |
| #5 | RyanStecken61 | 47% | 38 |
| #6 | Tinotes | 43% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bicus Dicus De Bicus De Dicus | 123 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | Lorkin | 18 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Tinotes | 14 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Ayashiro | 8 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | JSmile ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 7 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bicus Dicus De Bicus De Dicus | 2165 | 0.21 | 44 min |
| #2 | Lorkin | 955 | 0.12 | 24 min |
| #3 | JSmile ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 264 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Ayashiro | 123 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Tinotes | 105 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JSmile ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +3.49 | 82 | 62 |
| #2 | Bicus Dicus De Bicus De Dicus | +1.88 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | Lorkin | +1.20 | 86 | 65 |
| #4 | Joey Shmeeler | +0.90 | 79 | 46 |
| #5 | Tinotes | -3.71 | 42 | 48 |





