








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 736 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4571 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,032 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8605 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5998 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3047 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 5382 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $847,043 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 307 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JSmile ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 79% | 29 |
| #2 | Shenimoto Misaki | 63% | 114 |
| #3 | no peek | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | kk | 58% | 77 |
| #5 | srLnd | 57% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | gib mir a bier | 52% | 25 |
| #15 | drunk3n | 51% | 45 |
| #16 | DIEHL | 47% | 30 |
| #17 | (d)igel goes brrrrr | 44% | 32 |
| #18 | Johnny | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nickson | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Rotschopf | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | kk | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | G.Punkt | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Shenimoto Misaki | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nickson | 472 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #2 | Shenimoto Misaki | 310 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Rotschopf | 306 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | srLnd | 284 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | G.Punkt | 228 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fRESh | +3.50 | 75 | 85 |
| #2 | JSmile ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +2.63 | 74 | 66 |
| #3 | Shenimoto Misaki | +1.38 | 83 | 63 |
| #4 | no peek | +0.57 | 77 | 61 |
| #5 | kk | +0.51 | 55 | 74 |





