








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 899 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5460 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,172 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3860 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4192 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3727 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3393 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,532,289 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JSmile ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 61% | 125 |
| #2 | Bicus Dicus De Bicus De Dicus | 57% | 415 |
| #3 | Joey Shmeeler | 57% | 383 |
| #4 | Ayashiro | 53% | 68 |
| #5 | Tinotes | 50% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JSmile ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 61% | 125 |
| #2 | Bicus Dicus De Bicus De Dicus | 57% | 415 |
| #3 | Joey Shmeeler | 57% | 383 |
| #4 | Ayashiro | 53% | 68 |
| #5 | Tinotes | 50% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bicus Dicus De Bicus De Dicus | 90 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | Joey Shmeeler | 55 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | JSmile ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 10 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Tinotes | 8 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | Ayashiro | 7 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bicus Dicus De Bicus De Dicus | 1792 | 0.21 | 38 min |
| #2 | JSmile ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 409 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | Joey Shmeeler | 264 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #4 | Ayashiro | 124 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Tinotes | 61 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JSmile ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +3.46 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | Bicus Dicus De Bicus De Dicus | +1.88 | 78 | 65 |
| #3 | Lorkin | +1.36 | 86 | 65 |
| #4 | Joey Shmeeler | +0.65 | 78 | 47 |
| #5 | Tinotes | -3.03 | 37 | 51 |





