








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 494 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2570 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,415 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2720 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2100 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1642 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1953 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $650,121 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Devigne | 64% | 89 |
| #2 | Bountey | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | tweem | 56% | 54 |
| #4 | jsr | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | MoR | 50% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Bountey | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | tweem | 56% | 54 |
| #4 | jsr | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | MoR | 50% | 44 |
| #6 | LordTar | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tweem | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | jsr | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Bountey | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Devigne | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | MoR | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Devigne | 293 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | MoR | 173 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | jsr | 138 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | tweem | 99 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bountey | 96 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LordTar | +2.58 | 90 | 68 |
| #2 | jsr | +2.47 | 93 | 70 |
| #3 | Devigne | +2.41 | 80 | 66 |
| #4 | Bountey | +1.33 | 83 | 50 |
| #5 | Skorbat | +0.79 | 82 | 65 |





