








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Wingman | 63 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2798 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1679 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1708 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1728 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2223 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,473,846 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 408 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trudo | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | drinqz | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | jannemann | 59% | 59 |
| #4 | Skorbat | 56% | 54 |
| #5 | MoR | 54% | 296 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jsr | 27 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | MoR | 22 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Bountey | 12 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Skorbat | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | jannemann | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jsr | 808 | 0.19 | 25 min |
| #2 | MoR | 707 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #3 | Bountey | 321 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | Skorbat | 170 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | jannemann | 146 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Devigne | +1.80 | 67 | 60 |
| #2 | jsr | +1.79 | 90 | 69 |
| #3 | MoR | +0.99 | 85 | 63 |
| #4 | Bountey | +0.89 | 85 | 51 |
| #5 | Skorbat | +0.25 | 80 | 63 |





