








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1282 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,651 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1393 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1228 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 963 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1067 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $151,341 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain AwesomeZ | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | NÄFLY LFT | 72% | 25 |
| #3 | 𝖈𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖆𝖎𝖓 Paul Anton | 70% | 27 |
| #4 | oN | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | ☣ Hans183wurst | 59% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | NÄFLY LFT | 72% | 25 |
| #3 | 𝖈𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖆𝖎𝖓 Paul Anton | 70% | 27 |
| #4 | oN | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | ☣ Hans183wurst | 59% | 39 |
| #6 | Skorbat | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☣ Hans183wurst | 10 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | 𝖈𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖆𝖎𝖓 Paul Anton | 3 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☣ Hans183wurst | 226 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #2 | 𝖈𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖆𝖎𝖓 Paul Anton | 201 | 0.35 | 6 min |
| #3 | NÄFLY LFT | 87 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Captain AwesomeZ | 32 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Skorbat | 32 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LordTar | +3.14 | 90 | 67 |
| #2 | NÄFLY LFT | +1.77 | 77 | 66 |
| #3 | 𝖈𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖆𝖎𝖓 Paul Anton | +1.68 | 74 | 75 |
| #4 | Captain AwesomeZ | +1.24 | 79 | 66 |
| #5 | oN | +0.25 | 65 | 54 |





