








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2100 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,103 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1104 | 27% |
| Smokes | 968 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 929 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1102 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $828,054 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skorbat | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | MoR | 55% | 145 |
| #3 | jsr | 55% | 106 |
| #4 | Trudo | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | tweem | 53% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Trudo | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | tweem | 53% | 116 |
| #6 | Devigne | 50% | 12 |
| #7 | jannemann | 47% | 32 |
| #8 | YaSalami | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jsr | 14 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | MoR | 13 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | tweem | 12 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Skorbat | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | YaSalami | 3 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jsr | 447 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | MoR | 429 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | tweem | 228 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Skorbat | 97 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Trudo | 70 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jsr | +2.02 | 90 | 70 |
| #2 | Devigne | +1.97 | 79 | 66 |
| #3 | Bountey | +1.73 | 84 | 51 |
| #4 | Trudo | +1.16 | 79 | 68 |
| #5 | MoR | +0.87 | 87 | 66 |





