








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 468 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1580 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 755 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1607 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1635 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1709 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $801,059 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Slick Sensei | 47% | 93 |
| #8 | deets | 39% | 31 |
| #9 | Yipe34 | 32% | 25 |
| #10 | Y N N O J | 32% | 22 |
| #11 | Biliggle | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allu | 9 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | Biliggle | 6 | 0.0160 |
| #3 | Slick Sensei | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | WsplashSam | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | JohaN | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohaN | 157 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | xyph x) | 85 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | allu | 71 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Yipe34 | 69 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | WsplashSam | 60 | 0.15 | 1 min |





