








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4008 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,132 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 744 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1810 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 981 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 597 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,224,620 of utility $283 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 401 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gus^ | 248 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | xyph x) | 135 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | WsplashSam | 125 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | JohaN | 80 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Yipe34 | 79 | 0.14 | 3 min |





