








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 233 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,747 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1238 | 33% |
| Smokes | 657 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1014 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 838 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $511,987 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 242 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Yipe34 | 42% | 12 |
| #9 | Slick Sensei | 42% | 101 |
| #10 | JohaN | 40% | 42 |
| #11 | stokeru | 39% | 31 |
| #12 | Y N N O J | 30% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slick Sensei | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | JohaN | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Donnie | 4 | 0.0310 |
| #4 | WsplashSam | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | allu | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohaN | 123 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Honey | 104 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | WsplashSam | 100 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | Art1e | 75 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Y N N O J | 60 | 0.09 | 2 min |





