








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 152 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 939 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 435 | 46% |
| Smokes | 170 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 135 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 199 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $79,695 of utility $10 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyphos | 48% | 83 |
| #2 | Xaelynn | 47% | 86 |
| #3 | ᠌ VALOR-CAN'T᠌ | 44% | 61 |
| #4 | R4Bi3s!🎖 | 39% | 56 |
| #5 | FluffyDemon | 39% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᠌ VALOR-CAN'T᠌ | 28 | 0.0229 |
| #2 | Kinkyfaetter | 13 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | FluffyDemon | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Zyphos | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Agent P | 6 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R4Bi3s!🎖 | 274 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #2 | Agent P | 186 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | ᠌ VALOR-CAN'T᠌ | 172 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Zyphos | 144 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kinkyfaetter | 61 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᠌ VALOR-CAN'T᠌ | +5.02 | 68 | 50 |
| #2 | R4Bi3s!🎖 | +2.96 | 38 | 54 |
| #3 | Zyphos | +2.78 | 42 | 55 |
| #4 | Agent P | +1.36 | 39 | 48 |
| #5 | Kinkyfaetter | -0.93 | 17 | 40 |





