








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 508 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 503 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 531 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 186 | 35% |
| Smokes | 161 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 87 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 97 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $298,783 of utility $19 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | penisflicker28 | 45% | 42 |
| #2 | 藍色的 | 44% | 55 |
| #3 | R4Bi3s!🎖 | 39% | 97 |
| #4 | Trinko | 39% | 70 |
| #5 | Agent P | 39% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R4Bi3s!🎖 | 463 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #2 | Agent P | 356 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | ᠌ VALOR-CAN'T᠌ | 212 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kinkyfaetter | 129 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | penisflicker28 | 116 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | penisflicker28 | +6.23 | 55 | 65 |
| #2 | ᠌ VALOR-CAN'T᠌ | +5.29 | 69 | 46 |
| #3 | 藍色的 | +4.31 | 57 | 48 |
| #4 | R4Bi3s!🎖 | +3.57 | 38 | 60 |
| #5 | Agent P | +3.29 | 42 | 49 |





