








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1720 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 979 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 396 | 40% |
| Smokes | 133 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 147 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 303 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $390,508 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meow | 56% | 201 |
| #2 | Tsumabuki Right (twink) | 53% | 142 |
| #3 | hannah | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | communist propaganda | 51% | 71 |
| #5 | McFarty101 :3 | 47% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meow | 12 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Tsumabuki Right (twink) | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | duffrose | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | hannah | 4 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | Rapier | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meow | 558 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | 269 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| #3 | Tsumabuki Right (twink) | 255 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | hannah | 82 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Rapier | 77 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hannah | +6.40 | 89 | 55 |
| #2 | Rapier | +4.16 | 75 | 57 |
| #3 | meow | +3.44 | 61 | 35 |
| #4 | emi >:3 | -0.57 | 30 | 47 |
| #5 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | -0.78 | 53 | 56 |





