








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
726 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,776 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 521 | 29% |
| Smokes | 297 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 419 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 539 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $224,453 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joverwatch | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Winton (Celebrity Chef Mode) | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Aviso | 57% | 44 |
| #4 | axedonis | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | ★anal | 53% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | axedonis | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | ★anal | 53% | 57 |
| #6 | Jesus | 50% | 6 |
| #7 | Winton (Celebrity Chef Mode) | 50% | 18 |
| #8 | dr suck | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★anal | 7 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Aviso | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | axedonis | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | dr suck | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Winton (Celebrity Chef Mode) | 1 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axedonis | 129 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | Aviso | 128 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | dr suck | 91 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | ★anal | 71 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Winton (Celebrity Chef Mode) | 42 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caponey never broke #iwnl | +2.78 | 82 | 59 |
| #2 | dr suck | +1.45 | 59 | 70 |
| #3 | Jesus | +0.78 | 46 | 52 |
| #4 | ★anal | +0.06 | 76 | 47 |
| #5 | Aviso | -1.39 | 68 | 58 |





