








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
735 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,895 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 752 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1453 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1952 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 738 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $777,855 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axedonis | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | ⸸ x.com/Ersan1337 | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | Aviso | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | ★anal | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | ツ | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | AesPecT | 31% | 35 |
| #12 | :3 | 21% | 14 |
| #13 | neo fart | 19% | 32 |
| #14 | WelpM3 | 17% | 12 |
| #15 | Bonjo | 5% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neo fart | 13 | 0.0206 |
| #2 | SirChickenYT | 9 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | St1vold | 8 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | AesPecT | 6 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | Scouter | 4 | 0.0175 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neo fart | 112 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | St1vold | 98 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | SirChickenYT | 87 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | axedonis | 63 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #5 | WelpM3 | 62 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⸸ x.com/Ersan1337 | +6.06 | 75 | 50 |
| #2 | AesPecT | +3.23 | 67 | 52 |
| #3 | Scouter | +2.14 | 93 | 66 |
| #4 | SirChickenYT | +1.73 | 81 | 60 |
| #5 | St1vold | +1.52 | 43 | 70 |





