








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
752 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,636 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1164 | 32% |
| Smokes | 883 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 755 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 834 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $459,295 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maziz | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | N3xtSt3p | 49% | 70 |
| #3 | TilttiTuukko | 47% | 76 |
| #4 | Jaakko | 45% | 73 |
| #5 | skidd0 | 44% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jaakko | 45% | 73 |
| #5 | skidd0 | 44% | 73 |
| #6 | Kapybara | 40% | 50 |
| #7 | Peqi | 33% | 6 |
| #8 | vesinokkaeläin | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TilttiTuukko | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | skidd0 | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | vesinokkaeläin | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Jaakko | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | N3xtSt3p | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kapybara | 230 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | Jaakko | 213 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | TilttiTuukko | 211 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | skidd0 | 207 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | N3xtSt3p | 149 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vesinokkaeläin | +2.11 | 71 | 53 |
| #2 | skidd0 | +1.02 | 45 | 70 |
| #3 | Kapybara | +0.94 | 65 | 80 |
| #4 | TilttiTuukko | +0.12 | 44 | 75 |
| #5 | Maziz | -0.40 | 31 | 70 |





