








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1015 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 288 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2924 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,008 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4168 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3925 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3262 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2653 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,746,723 of utility $231 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 572 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vesinokkaeläin | 52% | 58 |
| #2 | N3xtSt3p | 49% | 180 |
| #3 | Jaakko | 48% | 177 |
| #4 | kenguru300 | 47% | 76 |
| #5 | skidd0 | 47% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jaakko | 48% | 177 |
| #4 | kenguru300 | 47% | 76 |
| #5 | skidd0 | 47% | 166 |
| #6 | Kapybara | 46% | 134 |
| #7 | Peqi | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaakko | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | N3xtSt3p | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | skidd0 | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Kapybara | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | vesinokkaeläin | 5 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kapybara | 658 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #2 | Jaakko | 560 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #3 | skidd0 | 487 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #4 | N3xtSt3p | 409 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #5 | kenguru300 | 259 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vesinokkaeläin | +2.52 | 74 | 65 |
| #2 | Kapybara | +1.54 | 71 | 78 |
| #3 | skidd0 | +1.09 | 44 | 70 |
| #4 | TilttiTuukko | +0.46 | 48 | 76 |
| #5 | Peqi | -0.52 | 62 | 58 |





