








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2615 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,508 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1940 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2369 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1498 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1701 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $450,051 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JURI HAN ENJOYER | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Bk | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | jordy | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Asimenio | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | degornjo | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JURI HAN ENJOYER | 453 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | salad | 231 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | degornjo | 154 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Bk | 137 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Father | 105 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JURI HAN ENJOYER | +2.54 | 85 | 62 |
| #2 | Bk | +1.98 | 77 | 55 |
| #3 | Jesus Christ on a Motorbike | +0.96 | 76 | 57 |
| #4 | Brian | +0.80 | 76 | 57 |
| #5 | Father | +0.33 | 50 | 57 |





