








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Faceit | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3997 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3721 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3832 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2854 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1109 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,279,690 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 380 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus Christ on a Motorbike | 65% | 55 |
| #2 | Just The Average | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | Brian | 52% | 56 |
| #4 | Father | 51% | 68 |
| #5 | Based and Elegant | 50% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Just The Average | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | Brian | 52% | 56 |
| #4 | Father | 51% | 68 |
| #5 | Based and Elegant | 50% | 163 |
| #6 | ȘĦ▲ΫØ†▲ | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Based and Elegant | 17 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Brian | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Father | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Jesus Christ on a Motorbike | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | ȘĦ▲ΫØ†▲ | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Father | 242 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Brian | 185 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jesus Christ on a Motorbike | 173 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | ȘĦ▲ΫØ†▲ | 140 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Based and Elegant | 63 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bk | +1.97 | 79 | 51 |
| #2 | Brian | +0.85 | 80 | 56 |
| #3 | Jesus Christ on a Motorbike | -0.02 | 78 | 56 |
| #4 | ȘĦ▲ΫØ†▲ | -0.15 | 50 | 59 |
| #5 | Just The Average | -0.56 | 56 | 56 |





