








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 625 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 93 matches | ||
| Wingman | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4252 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,336 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2811 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3827 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2797 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2901 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,285,905 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 651 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AndyR | 11 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | big pappa | 5 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Kirky | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | pipes | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Hoddse | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoddse | 192 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | pipes | 176 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Kirky | 154 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Useless | 148 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | AndyR | 144 | 0.10 | 5 min |





