








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1215 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 225 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6361 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,382 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4486 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5869 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4499 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3528 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,619,397 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1893 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoddse | 63% | 87 |
| #2 | krazy | 57% | 92 |
| #3 | Useless | 54% | 273 |
| #4 | NorahBorah | 52% | 143 |
| #5 | YouLikeCookies | 50% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | YouLikeCookies | 50% | 80 |
| #6 | MorDi | 48% | 144 |
| #7 | WezzNCo @ Eating Eggs | 47% | 38 |
| #8 | FakedDread86290 | 41% | 49 |
| #9 | Villmink | 41% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krazy | 15 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Hoddse | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | WezzNCo @ Eating Eggs | 5 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | YouLikeCookies | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Useless | 3 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Useless | 526 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | MorDi | 424 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Hoddse | 369 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | krazy | 240 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | NorahBorah | 112 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoddse | +4.31 | 71 | 66 |
| #2 | big pappa | +2.74 | 50 | 58 |
| #3 | Useless | +1.29 | 60 | 47 |
| #4 | krazy | +1.16 | 72 | 49 |
| #5 | WezzNCo @ Eating Eggs | +0.37 | 41 | 47 |





