








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 96 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,887 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 616 | 21% |
| Smokes | 985 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 544 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 742 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $220,565 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sim | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | dɐni | 51% | 86 |
| #3 | Kyyyhl | 51% | 77 |
| #4 | VillyMaximus | 46% | 67 |
| #5 | mew | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyyyhl | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | VillyMaximus | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | dɐni | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Wizlip | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dɐni | 211 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | VillyMaximus | 148 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kyyyhl | 134 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Wizlip | 125 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | guldberggay | 54 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sim | +3.28 | 93 | 36 |
| #2 | dɐni | +1.34 | 63 | 64 |
| #3 | VillyMaximus | +1.24 | 70 | 68 |
| #4 | Wizlip | +1.09 | 69 | 68 |
| #5 | mew | +0.56 | 61 | 53 |





