








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 533 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 107 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6487 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5976 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6670 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6596 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4863 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,553,865 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 386 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sim | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | guldberggay | 54% | 167 |
| #3 | mew | 53% | 49 |
| #4 | Kyyyhl | 52% | 380 |
| #5 | General Figglebottom | 51% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | mew | 53% | 49 |
| #4 | Kyyyhl | 52% | 380 |
| #5 | General Figglebottom | 51% | 86 |
| #6 | Wizlip | 51% | 387 |
| #7 | VillyMaximus | 51% | 316 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyyyhl | 22 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Wizlip | 11 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | guldberggay | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | VillyMaximus | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | sim | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wizlip | 1094 | 0.13 | 28 min |
| #2 | Kyyyhl | 703 | 0.08 | 17 min |
| #3 | VillyMaximus | 625 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #4 | guldberggay | 274 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | General Figglebottom | 135 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sim | +2.25 | 87 | 37 |
| #2 | dɐni | +1.83 | 64 | 67 |
| #3 | Wizlip | +0.71 | 62 | 67 |
| #4 | VillyMaximus | +0.50 | 67 | 68 |
| #5 | mew | -0.61 | 58 | 60 |





