








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
182 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 675 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 200 | 30% |
| Smokes | 128 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 191 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 156 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $32,610 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZachLivesMatter | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | xFlound4r | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | I'm on 12 Vicodin | 38% | 21 |
| #4 | XxReaper454xX | 36% | 11 |
| #5 | +2 | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The one who Knocks | 8 | 0.0206 |
| #2 | I'm on 12 Vicodin | 5 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | +2 | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | xFlound3r | 2 | 0.0106 |
| #5 | XxReaper454xX | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | +2 | 109 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #2 | The one who Knocks | 74 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | I'm on 12 Vicodin | 49 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | XxReaper454xX | 22 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | ZachLivesMatter | 6 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | +2 | +4.73 | 74 | 58 |
| #2 | ZachLivesMatter | +4.21 | 58 | 17 |
| #3 | The one who Knocks | +1.03 | 43 | 48 |
| #4 | I'm on 12 Vicodin | -0.06 | 40 | 37 |
| #5 | xFlound3r | -0.14 | 49 | 17 |





