








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 582 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4850 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7196 | 25% |
| Smokes | 8335 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6738 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6121 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,120,552 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | +2 | 58% | 45 |
| #2 | The one who Knocks | 57% | 54 |
| #3 | Ya-Man | 54% | 82 |
| #4 | DivineBot v2 | 51% | 305 |
| #5 | xFlound4r | 50% | 307 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | The one who Knocks | 57% | 54 |
| #3 | Ya-Man | 54% | 82 |
| #4 | DivineBot v2 | 51% | 305 |
| #5 | xFlound4r | 50% | 307 |
| #6 | xFlound3r | 35% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The one who Knocks | 14 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | DivineBot v2 | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | xFlound4r | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | xFlound3r | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Ya-Man | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DivineBot v2 | 192 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #2 | +2 | 178 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | The one who Knocks | 152 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | xFlound4r | 110 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ya-Man | 82 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | +2 | +9.12 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | The one who Knocks | +3.94 | 42 | 41 |
| #3 | DivineBot v2 | +0.39 | 32 | 26 |
| #4 | Ya-Man | +0.18 | 31 | 26 |
| #5 | xFlound3r | +0.16 | 46 | 11 |





