








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
146 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 125 | 43% |
| Smokes | 16 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 38 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 113 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $28,867 of utility $38 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | I'm on 12 Vicodin | 21% | 19 |
| #7 | xFlound3r | 19% | 16 |
| #8 | pafreestyle | 0% | 2 |
| #9 | ZachLivesMatter | 0% | 3 |
| #10 | Schindyy | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I'm on 12 Vicodin | 3 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | The one who Knocks | 3 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | Schindyy | 2 | 0.0189 |
| #4 | XxReaper454xX | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | +2 | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | +2 | 96 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #2 | The one who Knocks | 64 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | I'm on 12 Vicodin | 63 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | XxReaper454xX | 53 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | xFlound4r | 4 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | +2 | +7.09 | 74 | 60 |
| #2 | ZachLivesMatter | +2.69 | 60 | 24 |
| #3 | The one who Knocks | +2.51 | 48 | 43 |
| #4 | I'm on 12 Vicodin | -0.27 | 32 | 37 |
| #5 | xFlound3r | -1.74 | 47 | 10 |





