








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 114 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3259 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3362 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2017 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2628 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $849,320 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KT | 70% | 30 |
| #2 | TommyP123 | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | elmod | 59% | 46 |
| #4 | d4n | 56% | 131 |
| #5 | Conner ツ | 55% | 211 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | berf | 49% | 45 |
| #10 | jmv | 49% | 173 |
| #11 | アンディ | 43% | 42 |
| #12 | MurDoC | 33% | 36 |
| #13 | MilkyJoe | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jack | 31 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | jmv | 15 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Conner ツ | 13 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | TommyP123 | 6 | 0.0099 |
| #5 | berf | 4 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jack | 979 | 0.22 | 27 min |
| #2 | Conner ツ | 697 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #3 | jmv | 630 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #4 | d4n | 437 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #5 | MurDoC | 182 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TommyP123 | +2.20 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | Panda | +1.91 | 74 | 71 |
| #3 | Conner ツ | +0.62 | 79 | 64 |
| #4 | d4n | +0.18 | 63 | 56 |
| #5 | #ReTiReD | -0.39 | 79 | 57 |





