










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1454 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 188 matches | ||
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8438 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,652 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6312 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4220 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 6520 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5600 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,028,782 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 530 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 叻叻✌️✌ | 45 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | HERTZ | 31 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | KAGE | 27 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | 恶意跑打 | 13 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | NellaFniKwohC | 12 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HERTZ | 1650 | 0.36 | 40 min |
| #2 | 叻叻✌️✌ | 1076 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #3 | NellaFniKwohC | 927 | 0.24 | 22 min |
| #4 | KAGE | 785 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #5 | 恶意跑打 | 677 | 0.19 | 17 min |





