








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 631 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 362 matches | ||
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3593 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,915 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5737 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7725 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5377 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5076 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,111,092 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 400 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeyrox冰|•sγςτңε | 59% | 83 |
| #2 | EPSKAS | 54% | 117 |
| #3 | Krati | 53% | 118 |
| #4 | tempLando | 51% | 175 |
| #5 | Rody | 50% | 277 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Bloody | 49% | 45 |
| #8 | Phillybeef | 48% | 217 |
| #9 | CURRY | 47% | 66 |
| #10 | nefar1o | 42% | 98 |
| #11 | wat da fak man | 41% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phillybeef | 17 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | tempLando | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Krati | 10 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Rody | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | wat da fak man | 8 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phillybeef | 1020 | 0.23 | 29 min |
| #2 | tempLando | 754 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #3 | nefar1o | 674 | 0.31 | 19 min |
| #4 | Rody | 364 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #5 | Gru | 286 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tempLando | +2.75 | 70 | 63 |
| #2 | Gru | +2.69 | 86 | 67 |
| #3 | Krati | +2.60 | 81 | 56 |
| #4 | Zeyrox冰|•sγςτңε | +1.85 | 81 | 60 |
| #5 | Phillybeef | +1.35 | 72 | 75 |





