








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 529 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 226 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 199 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4960 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,301 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3527 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5201 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5761 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4812 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,435,185 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 596 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aimeN | 51% | 503 |
| #2 | prOdolwa | 48% | 497 |
| #3 | Kai Uwe | 45% | 260 |
| #4 | raymbo ツ | 44% | 36 |
| #5 | Rudolf | 44% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aimeN | 11 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | prOdolwa | 8 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Kai Uwe | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | eyecatcher | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | CURRY | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prOdolwa | 574 | 0.06 | 14 min |
| #2 | aimeN | 412 | 0.04 | 10 min |
| #3 | CURRY | 265 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Kai Uwe | 151 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #5 | raymbo ツ | 114 | 0.15 | 3 min |





