








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 737 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2473 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1715 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1666 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2068 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2365 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $991,570 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | SwaTSecK | 38% | 115 |
| #9 | fpang | 37% | 19 |
| #10 | ✯ Blight | 35% | 34 |
| #11 | Melon be Smellin | 29% | 34 |
| #12 | Dave | 28% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SwaTSecK | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Ching Chong Un | 9 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Tomato | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | cream | 6 | 0.0098 |
| #5 | salmonTF | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SwaTSecK | 396 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | salmonTF | 245 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Melon be Smellin | 120 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ching Chong Un | 112 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | The Big Goose | 105 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ching Chong Un | +5.22 | 75 | 54 |
| #2 | The Big Goose | +2.96 | 83 | 66 |
| #3 | SwaTSecK | +2.03 | 72 | 76 |
| #4 | cream | +1.88 | 88 | 67 |
| #5 | taco | +1.66 | 81 | 65 |





