








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 114 matches | ||
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3375 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,703 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4695 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4577 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2719 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3712 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $434,238 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sloppy bill on the pill | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Repose | 67% | 48 |
| #3 | Ericcc | 64% | 39 |
| #4 | Moopz | 60% | 25 |
| #5 | Packy | 60% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | Lax | 44% | 25 |
| #17 | Cagey | 44% | 32 |
| #18 | holycow | 39% | 33 |
| #19 | ✪ exit` | 37% | 19 |
| #20 | ىćą¹ « Jrsooner | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Semaj | 6 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Cagey | 5 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | peeboy14 | 4 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Repose | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | holycow | 3 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Repose | 277 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #2 | Cagey | 210 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #3 | Hawkish | 157 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | holycow | 152 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | goblins are real | 137 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Packy | +3.26 | 73 | 61 |
| #2 | zPs | +2.15 | 66 | 72 |
| #3 | Ericcc | +2.08 | 77 | 60 |
| #4 | Semaj | +1.36 | 83 | 56 |
| #5 | Repose | +1.24 | 70 | 68 |





