








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1610 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 702 | 21% |
| Smokes | 838 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 702 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1129 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $434,381 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Stitch<3 | 44% | 137 |
| #7 | .Special K | 40% | 15 |
| #8 | askel | 30% | 20 |
| #9 | Ploppen | 26% | 19 |
| #10 | Yngel | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bartosz | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Stitch<3 | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | LUCASW | 6 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Goblin | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | gubbmicke | 2 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bartosz | 301 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | LUCASW | 126 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Goblin | 77 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | askel | 63 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | gubbmicke | 57 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LUCASW | +6.48 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | Bartosz | +5.20 | 64 | 67 |
| #3 | .Special K | +4.87 | 85 | 72 |
| #4 | Yngel | +3.92 | 59 | 59 |
| #5 | gubbmicke | +2.32 | 66 | 50 |





